What you don't hear about, when reading a post, is all of the discussion here at the Yellow House about whatever the day's topic is. My most faithful editor and sounding board is back for a guest-post. I give you... The Dad of NilsenLife!
I hear there's been some musing over ex-boyfriends and the like. I'll state up front that it surely is not my place to defend an ex-boyfriend, certainly not one I have never met, but for the record: I too am an ex-boyfriend.
A very good friend - possibly the nicest man alive - mentioned to me one day, as we were watching our little girls playing, that he already had an eye on THE BOYS who played with his daughters. He made the point that the guys he knew in college who didn't treat girls right back then, are in fact mean guys to this day. That a leopard doesn't change his spots.
Here I am - in my thirties, with a beautiful wife and family - none gained through treating girls wrong. But I was that guy - the guy who didn't notice a heart breaking, who left a breakup note behind as I went on vacation, the guy who failed to wake up for breakfast dates - and no, Kirsten hasn't forgotten about that one!
I might have come across, at times of my life, as thoughtless, inconsiderate, yes even rude. But I like to think that maybe life's tougher lessons may have smoothed some of the rough spots - that maybe I wasn't the greatest guy in other relationships, but that I've learned a few of the lessons it takes to be one of the Good Guys.
I still, on occasion, might fail to notice the effort that has gone into a date night "get-up." I still don't always say the MOST thoughtful thing I can think of. Tonight is not the night to right all the wrongs: all I'm saying is that we (those ex-boyfriends) can mellow out, ease up, pull ourselves together and become net contributors (relatively speaking) given a chance, or two, or three.