Tuesday, August 16, 2005

50 Things to miss about England

It had to happen, Rod becoming naturalized (although I thought it was generally only something they did to milk and cheese).

This list of 50 Things to miss about England was compiled in a Baltimore bar between Brad, Torbjorn, Kirsten, Peter and Amanda - And presented to Rod with love at his naturalization party...

News and Media
1. The Guardian and the Sunday Times (without it costing $9.50). Yes, I know:
www.sundaytimes.co.uk, www.guardian.co.uk .
2. Gameshows with no prizes.
3. TV Evening News which has actual news.
4. Newscasters who don't look like Barbie and Ken: e.g. the woman on Channel 4 news who never does her hair.
5. Football, the real kind, particularly Match of the Day, and the fact the whole country's point of reference is 1966.

Food and Drink
6. Pub lunches on the Thames.
7. The drinking culture in general e.g. walking to the pub, last call a11pm, it gives structure to your day.
8. Wagamama - and it came to Reading the month we moved!!!
9. Tesco Superstores (every aisle fulfilling).
10. Waitrose.
11. Bacon butties/chip baps.
12. Real Ale.
13. Real Cheese (OK, pasturized...).
14. Real Yoghurt.
15. Custard as an option, instead of ice-cream.
16. Fruit trees.
17. Cheap hot tea.
18. M & S sandwiches.
19. Markets and local bakeries (the ability to get Granary Bread).
20. Proximity of Europe in general, and
21. Booze Cruises in particular.
22 Ubiquitousnessss of Indian food, e.g. chicken tikka sandwiches in gas stations.
23. And, for that matter, just Sandwiches in neat little plastic triangles.
24. Pimms O' Clock.

Britain and its Character
25. Not being able to stand up in the shower.
26. Magnolia paint everywhere.
27. Self Deprecation, Dryness, People who are not earnest, but take the piss (e.g. airline pilots), the fact that Sarcasm is a positive character trait, rather than a flaw.
28. Sonning village.
29. Drivers in the right speed lane: and who indicate (unlike Amanda's mother, who believes that if you indicate, people will know you want to change lanes and will never let you out).
30. Christmas Shopping in London.
31. London itself- the best city in the world.
32. Friendly policemen.
33. National Consciousness older than 250 years.
34. Impressive Gothic architecture and insane / crazyarse architecture (e.g. Royal Holloway).
35. Used books selection .
36. Access to vague knowledge of new pop, e.g. what Kylie's doing.
37. Heat magazine (unkind nasty gossip).
38. British Big Brother.
39. The phrase 'Bloody Hell'.
40. The fact you can see Windsor Castle from the M4.

People missed
41. People who aren't offended by where you choose to live.
42. Ant and Dec in particular and CDUK in general.
43. The existence of the Brummie accet. You kidding me? This is a real accent?
44. Gary Lineker - the embodiment of so many uniquely English traits. Extremely well groomed, quite articulate AND a great athlete that somehow managed to win very few honors (FA Cup, European Cup Winner's Cup (today's UEFA Cup) and the golden boot at the 86 World), he might be best remembered for NEVER receiving a red OR even yellow card (most likely because he was too lazy to help the defense).
45. William Hague - the embodiment of so many uniquely English traits. Extremely talented and articulate, a wonderful parlamentarian, not particularly good looking, such a very good loser (he never took the conservatives anywhere as their leader), and always so polite.
46. Stephen Fry - the embodiment of so many uniquely English traits. Multi talented, apparantly with a brain the size of Kent, and a tad gay.
47. Ulrika-ka-ka-ka - the embodiment of so many uniquely English traits. A Swede that can down a pint of beer in ONE with a propensity to be on the receiving end of a beating, but most of all she made...
48. Vic and Bob- the embodiment of so many uniquely English traits. They make us laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh.
49. Penny Mahon.
50. The Berkshire Crew: 'standing friends' who you don't have to be formal about meeting up with.


Anonymous said...

Amanda read this out at the nationalisation party and we were all very moved. (Well read, by the way, Amanda)

Anonymous said...

I can't believe you've got a picture of "may be Rod".

how random is that

i guess it's the thought that counts

Anonymous said...

"50 Things to miss about England"

... how about the dreariness of the never-ending winters?

- W.C.

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