Monday, November 9, 2009

The World's Worst Nurse

Recently I was mulling over possible career options, and raised the idea of getting a nursing degree (flexible hours/shifts, great pay, etc.)  Torbjorn snorted a [very unflattering] sort of guffaw, and looked up to see if I was serious.  Unfortunately for him, I was.

He looked long and hard at me, and then said with uncharacteristic firmness "Kirsten. You would be a terrible nurse."

And I would.

I've got such minimal levels of sympathy for even the weepiest of small children.  I'm a huge believer in the 'ignore the bump and maybe they won't cry' school of thought.  I have even been known to sigh heavily and exclaim seriously? when presented with a self-inflected gardening wound dripping with blood.  Sarcasm plays a heavy role in my bedside manner.

But sick kids are different.  Small people with the flu have a way of melting my heart like nothing else:  the hot pink cheeks, the weary achy bodies, the sad half-hearted coughs - it is an affliction they didn't ask for and don't understand.  The only thing they know for sure is that their mom understands.

Here is the secret that many moms won't cop to:  a sick kid means the chance to hold and hold and hold.  A sick kid means you get to get in all of the loving that they are so quickly growing out of.   A sick kid, no matter how long the legs or strong the arms, is willing to curl up on your lap and have their hair stroked.  A sick kid will take the cool cloth on the forehead, and from the most true place in their heart say "I love you Mommy."

I spent much of my day holding, today. I got cups of water, found tissues, helped change sweat-dampened pajamas. I smoothed his straight dark hair over and over, and he closed his eyes and didn't protest.  I thought to myself, I may be the worst nurse in the world.  But right here, right now?  I am the world's very best mom.


Cheryl said...

I apparently am the world's WORST mom. When my kids are sick, i want to stay as far away as possible, especially if there is barf involved. Luckily, my kids just want to sleep (by themselves, in their own beds) when sick. Otherwise, they'd be on to me! However, I am right there with you in the old "If the bump happens and the Mommy does not acknowledge, did the bump really happen?" school of parenting.. ;)

kirsten said...

Cheryl, you'll have to check w/ Jen about my non-issues with germs. It can be a little alarming to people who are, you know, careful about these things. For example, I had never even thought about opening a public restroom door w/ my shirt until I started hanging out with her.

So far so good - I haven't noticed that I get sick significantly more often than others.

Oh, but AGREED on the barf issue. Aaaaaaaaaaaaack. That's DHs job.

hezro said...

Aww...poor Lars! This post almost made me wish for a sick child. :)

Gildas said...

Torbjorn will come around if you mention the uniform...

Wendy said...

It's the same when they are 18 (Evie had her wisdom teeth out today). It doesn't matter how "grown up" they are when they are well, nothing but Mummy will do when they are sick and you can get in all the cuddles you are denied when they are feeling independent.

By the way, have you noticed that the best nurses make the worst patients, and vice versa. I don't want to have anything to do with people when they are sick, and when I'm sick all I want is to be left alone.

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