Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Seasons Change

There is an oak tree, maybe 40 feet tall, that is framed in the nursery window.   As Baby Girl and I played Jumping before her nap this afternoon ( I know, I really can settle 'em down!), I watched the last of the leaves fall from the uppermost branches. I was seized, suddenly, by a vivid memory of folding newborn pajamas in this room, watching the leaves fall, more than two years ago as I entered my 9th month of pregnancy.  I have a scrap of paper floating around here on my desk,  a jotted note from last October: "watched the oak leaves fall again. It's one year later, and autumn is when my life flies away the fastest."

She is almost two.  I have watched the leaves fall, the buds reappear, the sprouting of new leaves and watched them fall again.  The seasons shift, month in and month out, measuring our days.

I came across this quote in a lovely little novel I'm reading -
It is in the nature of things to change.  Nothing can last beyond its given time.  And I think that instinctively we know what that time is.  What is it that makes us know when the summer turns?  The smallest shift in the light? The slightest hint of chill in the morning air?  A certain rustling of the leaves of the birches?  That is how it is -  suddenly, in the midst of the summer heat, you are overcome by a tightening of your heart.  The realization that it will all come to an end.  And that brings a new intensity to everything:  the colors, the smells, the feeling of sunshine on your arm.  [p. 72, Astrid & Veronika, Linda Olsson]
Sensing the shift, be that in the natural world or the human world, is nothing less than the key to peaceful change, and powerful growth. In my growth as a parent, very few things have been as helpful as understanding that connection.


I am feeling more reflective than usual today, for a happy reason.  This is NilsenLife's 500th post!  Talk about change and growth! What started as a way to post photos for friends and family around the globe turned into a place for this parent to document her way through the miasma of mothering.  It has turned into the place where I can stretch my brain, tell about the best and worst parts of our days, and somehow map out a space that includes a little bit of mom, a little bit of the Big Picture, and a little bit of silly.

Is this maybe what all of us are looking for?  Not so much Having It All, not so much the mythical beast called 'Work Life Balance', but more like.....a place where all the divergent parts of us can be comfortable - a place that accepts where and who we are, whilst at the same time asking us to look at where and who we want to be.  Some days we achieve all that we hope for our day - our life! Other days, we can only sigh and wait for the morning.

Anyway.  Thanks to all of you for coming along for the ride.


Cheryl said...

Congrats on #500! I have no clue how many I have, but of course now I'm going to have to go and look..Anyway, glad I found you/your blog - such gentle, lovely prose!

L-A said...

How shameful - I've been blogging since 2004, and only have 166 posts!!! But doing this NaBloPoMo stint may help me turn over a new blogging leaf!

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