Monday, October 10, 2011

Stillness {Day 10}: Parenting with Stillness. Not an Oxymoron.


When in doubt, choose the kids.  There will be plenty of time later to choose work. - Anna Quindlen



I had a friend post this on my Facebook wall yesterday: any words of wisdom as I enter into stay-at-home mommyhood this week?  After 10 years of working I'm leaving my career and not looking back!

Oh my.  Where to start?  I mean, how long can you go on, on someone's FB wall, without being seen as seriously psychotic, instead of Stay At Home Mom Extraordinaire?

In the end, I shared the only wisdom I felt comfortable with, saying that there truly is no 'one right way', and that to be a great mom you have to trust your instincts, and to treasure each and every minute possible.  True for any parent, tougher for the mom wiping up the 7th glass of spilled milk that day.

On reflection, later today, I realized my advice could be even simpler. 

Be Still, is my advice to stay at home mothers.  To parents, really.

Be still, and know that you are witness to magic. 

Be still, and know that you are participating in a tremendous experiment where no one knows the outcome, but everything is still possible.

Be still, and trace their soft fat cheek with your fingers, because soon that cheek will turn angular and beautiful, but lack any roundness that echoes the infant in arms they were.

Be still, and marvel at their quick wit, their sharp humor, their changing emotions that they don't yet know to hide.

Be still, and let their psychic storms wash over you.  Your peace will be their peace, and they will come to treasure the stillness you can offer them within the safety of their home.

Be still, and let there be mess.  Kids are messy, and there will be a mess.  Absolutely there will be a time for clean up, a time for the character building that tidying up offers, but let there be mess.

Be still, and offer stillness to them.  They will fight it, kicking, maybe even screaming, but offer stillness to them.  Turn off televisions, iTunes, Leapsters, xBoxes, iPods and cell phones and offer your kids the gift of stillness in the home.   A place where they can calm their hearts and minds, and therefore go peacefully into the world.

This is what I can offer as advice to parents of children, size XS to XL:  Be Still.

1 comment:

Cool Progeny Baltimore said...

Love this, Kristen! "Know that you are witness to magic." One of those things that's often hard to remember in the craziness that is the every day of life, and then it whacks you in the face. :)

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