I wasn't a runner. And then I was.
I wasn't a writer. And then I was.
I wasn't a teacher. And then I was.
I have become things that I'd categorically dismissed - those definitions? Those people? They weren't Me. I was the armchair athlete. I was the enthusiastic supporter of other writers - people who were good, you know? I was in awe of my kids' teachers, certain that it was nothing I could ever organize, this teaching children to ... do stuff.
Yet. Yet. Somewhere deep in there was a spirit that refused to let those definitions stick. A spirit that fought against decisions I thought had been made. A spirit that kept piping up, whispering but you might be that. You could be that.
Indeed. This year, I became all of those people.
Here we run up against the word that gets tossed around at spa days, at therapy sessions, after a good cry: "I feel renewed."
Renewed. Made new. NEW. It isn't a fluffy word that simply means "oh hey I feel so much better!" It isn't the lazy woman's way of saying "wow I'm so relaxed and now I feel happier about the world." Renewed is when the raw materials are taken, re-molded, and transformed into something entirely new.
I have been renewed. I have been remade, by these deep gut messages that say You are NOT only this, just that, merely these things. In seismic, unalterable ways, I have become new. A new person who does do things like sign up for a half marathon. Who returns to the writing again again again like a horse returns to the stable each evening. Who teaches a small boy every morning, never failing to marvel that he is actually learning something.
And I am not finished. I have been renewed, have become something new, and the most transformative thing of all is realizing that we are never finished. I will be formed, and then formed again. The raw material that makes Me will be many things.
Renewal - again and again and again - is the sign of a life well lived.
*****
At this point in my life, I have to say that the first thing to come to mind when thinking "Renewal" is all of my overdue library books. But I was grateful to be asked to think further. This post is part of the One Word at a Time blog carnival: Renewal hosted by Peter Pollock. To read more posts considering Renewal, visit his blog, PeterPollock.com.
Also, anyone out there interested in a Christian perspective on renewal - the "making all things new" - please do read this by Rev. Doctor Ken Kovacs. Powerful words, transformative words. The very best kind.
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12 comments:
Wow.
That was powerfully written!
I enjoyed your post very much, and had to laugh at your bottom line about renewing your library books!
It is a wonderful thing when we can cast aside all the things we though we could never be and just be renewed in Him and step up the batters plate.
A post I was so happy to read in these early morning hours.
Dana
Renewal is to make new again, to make all over again, to recreate but in a new way. Good post.
Hi ... found you via the carnival.
Love this!!
Because it's well-written.
And because so much of it is familiar. Writer and runner are also words that describe me. And I've also come to know that a life well lived is all about renewal! I've lived it in my body, mind and spirit.
Renewal rocks! I was a runner, then I wasn't and docs weren't sure if I'd ever walk again, much less run. Because of renewal, I'm a runner again.
I can't believe that I didn't think of library "renewals" right off the bat when I was thinking of this topic. ha. It's such a regular part of my life.
I agree with the others that your words are powerful. All the things you didn't think you were - you have been renewed to be. God is so wonderful to continue opening new avenues to us to give him praise. Thanks for sharing yours.
Love love love.
I just recently got a running shirt and on the inside hem, it has this manifesto written on it. One of the things it says is "I am a runner because I run." I know it may sound hokey but how many of us think that we aren't something unless we do it *a certain way*. I'm not a runner until I run a certain pace. I'm not a writer until I write big fluffy words that lots of people praise me for? Nope. I'm a runner because I run. A writer because I write. It makes the doing and *renewing* easier.
xo
Remade and new--love this, Kristen. I know exactly what you mean. Things I never thought I'd be doing, God has led me into them as I trusted and now they are so fulfilling and full of joy. Thanks!
You're so right. If you had told me 3 years ago that I would be doing some of the things I'm doing now I would have told you, SHUT UP! That's ridiculous! Who knows what I'll be 5 years from now? What any of us will be.
i will have to read the kovacs article.
i also said i'd never be a doctor, up until my last year of college. i'm now afraid to say what i'll "never" do. it is empowering to do the things i never thought possible, though. rah rah!
"Renewal - again and again and again - is the sign of a life well lived."
Indeed! We are called to be molded again and again by the Master Potter. Inspiring post! Thank you! Abundant blessings!
This is very Presbyterian of you: As John Calvin (I think???) "The church is reformed and always reforming.." I think this very much applies to individuals as well. We are all on our journey, which may take us to unexpected places.
Well done, Kirsten.
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