Our Latest Failure
We're not talking abject failure: as individual photos, each element is pretty good. Yes, Cecilie looks like she took too much Ritalin, and Annika could look less terrified, but it's.... ok. But as a group photo? What a train wreck. It looks like we tried to make the outfits fight with each other! And excuse me, I know I have the cheeks in the family, but honestly, my head is not 4 times the size of Torbjorn's in real life.
The best part of this photo is the back story. This was intended as a photo for the church directory, and as such the 'studio' was set up at the church office. We forgot to show up for our 10am appointment, as we were in the middle of our Big Yard Sale, so they rescheduled us for 4.30. [I ask you: is there a parent out there who thinks they'll get great photos of kids at 4.30 in the afternoon? That is official Crazy Time around our place.]
So after a morning of Yard Sale-ing (from 6am to 2pm!), we try to get the kids down for a nap (big failure). We jump in the shower, we throw on some clothes. I slap on the makeup as we make the 3 minute drive to church. We are ushered in, and hoo wah, the circus begins.
Annika screams and lunges towards Mommy with every 'Say Cheese!'. Cecilie gives the Super Grin (specialty of most Eldest Children in the world) every time, alternating with fits of giggles. Lars does his best Kung Fu Panda pose every time we're asked to stand still. After 20 minutes of this, the photographer gives up, suggests maybe just trying Torbjorn & Kirsten together. We set Annika down carefully, propping her up on the back of a tiny bench. Little did we know, the bench was unsecured and before the flash can pop, she's fallen on her head w/ the bench on top of her, screaming bloody murder. To calm her requires an extended nursing session, with all the Olan Mills photo guys carefully looking the other way. We then get all lined up again, and in a big effort to stand the right way Cecilie manages to wipe out in a big dramatic fashion, taking half of the set props with her. Once she is calmed & checked over for broken limbs, we regroup and try One Last Time. We stand still, we watch Photographer do his best Silly Act to make the kids smile, Lars goes for the best Kung Fu Panda ever, and BAM. There goes Kid #3 on his head. By this point, Torbjorn & I are weeping tears of laughter, the photographer is completely bewildered by parents who laugh at their kids' misfortunes, and the kids are a mess. Time to call it quits.
Turns out, the pictures were as bad as we thought they were. The poor salesman trying to do the upsell ended up giving me a 'Military Discount' (I guess for my bravery in everyday combat?), and the photo above was the best of a very bad bunch. Even Olan Mills had to admit defeat in the face of the Nilsens.
3 comments:
Oh. My. Goodness!!! You guys are so hilarious - what an awesome story - I almost laughed eggnog through my nose! Man, I'd love to have a crack at you with my camera someday (I love a good challenge) - maybe if I'm ever on that side of the continent, or if you lot ever make your way to the beautiful Okanagan (wine country!!)...
too funny - don't beat yourselves up about the photo!!!
all are welcome to take on the challenge of 'shooting' the Nilsens. Come one, come all: photograph the craziest family in the kingdom.
Eileen: is it too much to ask for just ONE good photo? The thing is, if I accept that this is as good as they're gonna get, then I have to accept that my head truly is 4 times the size of Torbjorn's... ;)
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