Had to take last week off, but we're back on track with The Red Writing Hood this week. Today the assignment is "writing a first-person piece about [...] taking a shower - without using a personal pronoun." Egads, thought I. The personal pronoun is the blogger's BFF! What is one to do? Sit down of an evening, and bash out her best effort, that's what one is to do. Here ya go peeps - Description.
Cranking the hot water faucet with an impatient twist of the wrist. Stupid plumbing. Stupid old house. Stripping the sweaty running shirt off, then the sports bra, the shorts, the rank socks, the grimy shoes. Gotta get new running shoes. Sigh.
Tweaking the cold water, just an eigth-inch: hard lessons have taught that otherwise it turns more refreshing than God or a health teacher ever intended. Hopping in, over the 42 cups stacked just so, the firefighter rubber duck, the sandpail making a mysterious appearance in the tub. Eyeing the old fiberglass shower stall, irritated. Stupid bathroom. Stupid old ugly bathroom.
Eyes to the ceiling, water streaming through eyelashes, eyelids shut tight. Too tight. Shutting out the noise from Elmo downstairs, the banging washing machine - that can NOT be right - the weeping of a toddler on the steps. Shutting out thoughts of calls to be made, appointments to be kept, bills to be paid.
With eyes shut tight the tan fiberglass tub and its raised sunray pattern disappears. With eyes shut tight the Costco-sized shampoo becomes the fancy volume building 'product' that once made a difference, the Cetaphil becomes the facial scrub that used to be ritually applied with a 2" square of muslin, the body wash doesn't have a disturbing scent of Berry Blast or a cap designed as a dolphin mutant.
With eyes shut tight there is no self. No aging skin to be examined, no belly pudge to be avoided, no piercing scars to sigh over. There is a human, a sweaty naked real human in the middle of streams of water, forgetting self. Forgetting for six minutes that she is anything but body, water, more body, more water.
That, that, is getting clean.