Saturday, July 10, 2010

In My Next Life

My legs were always my 'thing.'  You know, the one part of your body that you didn't loathe at 17 (when really, in actual fact, at 17 most parts of a girl are pretty damn good.)

So I was having one of those silly conversations with my husband about this (the kind of convo that husbands don't really enjoy, but are willing to humor you in if you're not offended that they're watching Jon Stewart at the same time.)  I complained about the sheer injustice of the fact that most guys aren't really into legs.  He laughed out loud, and said Well you can't DO anything with legs! 

Hmph.  Well, said I.  In my next life, I'm going to have stumpy legs and a prize winning rack.  [Crude, I know.  I don't quite believe it either. And here she's supposed to be an inspirational blogger?  What's in the water at the Yellow House?]

I decided that as part of my Independence from the tyranny of What If, it is time to name all that I want for my Next Life, to allow me the freedom to love what I got in this one. So.

In my Next Life I will:

:: be petite, brunette, and have beautiful long curly hair. Fine - I'm going to look like my sister in law. [Actually, if I were to look like any ONE of my 3 sisters-in-law, it would be a great Next Life. But that's a whole other post.] [I digress.] ::

:: go to law school ::

:: take the trip to Thailand, Laos & Cambodia with my oldest friend after college ::

:: ask out the guy in my Critical Thinking class [if for some reason I find myself spending a semester at the University of Maryland AGAIN in my Next Life] ::

:: do the Ironman - and tear it up ::

:: stick with piano lessons, and skip cheerleading ::

:: live in New York City.  And then in London ::

:: embrace my inner goth and wear all black ::

:: wear bikinis more often (see first point) ::

:: worry less, act more ::

:: never attempt scrapbooking ::

:: drink Scotch and eat lobster ::

:: subscribe to the Economist and nod sagely whilst deep within its pages ::

:: not waste a day wondering What If ::

:: have stumpy legs and a prize winning rack ::

Of course, it is entirely possible that in my Next Life, I will be a stinkbug.  Or a skunk.

So what about you??  What's on YOUR Next Life list?  Go on, just give me one.  I'll even let you watch Jon Stewart whilst you're thinking.


Gasmeter said...

Yeah, I'll also take the stumpy legs and prize-winning rack.


Missy said...

In my next life... I'm going to be a broad, and I mean that in the best sense of the word. I'm going to have a poker face, tell bawdy jokes and get away with it, and be able to take control of a room with just one look. And as long as we're making plans here, I'll take the prize-winning rack AND legs that just don't stop (I'm rocking short legs now, and I'm over it).

I feel the need to make my own "next life" list now. Perfect procrastination project before I get down to business today.

Varda said...

Kirsten, you are just the !!!!!!! Love this post! Uproariously funny and touching all at the same time. Too tired to think about my next life right now, I'll come back later.

Although maybe in my next life I'll ... get more sleep.

Cheryl said...

Are you crazy?!?! You can BUY a great rack. But legs? Nothing you can do about them. If you're blessed with a great pair, you're a lucky, lucky girl!

citymouse said...

What a great exercise! Not sure what I'd do in my next life... still trying to figure out this one!

Stopping by from SITS. Have an awesome Sunday.

Wendy said...

As someone with stumpy legs and a rack you could hang sides of beef from, in my next life I want to be tall and willowy. In fact I want to look like the women in Japanese anime.

Mayhem and Moxie said...

I. love. this.

I've never thought much about my next life. My big "thing" is retirement. I've got it all planned out...the traveling, the golfing, the eating...the traveling.

Let's still be friends then. I think we could have a pretty good time.


Aging Mommy said...

Well I already have the stumpy legs and while not prize winning have always had an ample rack for my overall size. I like neither - I think we always want what we don't have! Top of my list would be perfect eye sight so I did not ever have to wear glasses (I can no longer wear contacts and am too scared to consider Lasik!) After that I'd like to be tall, willowy and blond with blue eyes.

As for my life, well there are lots of things I still want to do but not much about life up to now that I would want to alter.

Keda said...

In my next life I am going to be a dolphin. They are smart and do nothing all day but frolic in the water, eat when they're hungry and have sex when they like.

And by that time, due to the shear stupidity the human race, the water will have returned to normal safe playing grounds and humans will either live in floats on the water (According to water world) or need a post man (according to the postman) or any (all?) other apocalyptic versions were humans no longer live off oil but with fire or with weird restrictions on bearing children which means population is down and people have more important stuff to do than endangering our waters.

hezro said...

I've been thinking about this post as I'm out and about and I've decided that I would totally take good legs over a generous bosom. And here's why - LOTS of people see your bare legs but..ahem...presumably not so many see your bare bosom. So there you go. In my next life I'd like a pair of nicely shaped legs, please.

Kristina Churchill said...

In my next life I would love to be someone like 'The Unsinkable Molly Brown" of the Titanic. Tuff as nails, got what she wanted, and a very unspoken lady. Yes, thats who I would be! Yes and small thighs would be good next time too!

Love your blog, will become a follower!

Stop by my site:
check out my "What If's" post

Happy Sunday!


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