Mom lays down the law. Insists the lights are going out and the noise will stop. It is quiet for a brief second. The Brother - the Lone Male in the room - mutters Well. That didn't achieve much, did it?
The silence is deafening - at least it is until Mom's snorts break up the whole off-to-dreamland vibe.
So I started thinking about the lessons you learn from brothers - in my case, two brothers. It might be a stretch to argue that you learn everything you need to know about the human condition from male siblings, but there is a fair bit of core knowledge to be gained.
Drama is generally off-putting to a guy. Especially drama for the sake of more drama.
There will be smelliness. There will be a lot of sweat. Most likely some naked smelly sweat in your life. And not in a good way.
When boys get mad at each other, they hit each other. They'll probably yell, loudly. And then they're over it.
It's not all about you. Sometimes, in fact often, their perplexing behaviors have nothing to do with you.
Occasionally, they just don't want to talk. At all. Not about feelings, not about what's for dinner. (doesn't matter how much you've got to say.)
Dirt is a good thing. Dirt is a tool, a plaything, an occupation all of its own, and its removal will be just as messy as its acquisition.
Climbing trees has merit. As does climbing rocks, but these are less readily available.
There will always be some sport in which a guy takes interest. Probably several, but always at least one. [Corollary to this: there will typically be at least one machine or mechanical item in which a guy takes interest. This might be an iPhone, this might be a chainsaw, this might be a sewing machine. It is the mechanics, make no mistake.]
I had my little brother visiting today, and he made me cry laughing, remembering the time he & my older brother decided I needed to snap out of my latest Mood. Imagine trying to be your Most Pissed Off 16 Year Old Self, and having your brothers croon this to you:
Kiiiiiirsten, your conscience is calling yooooooou!
Don't be so sad and blue!
Time for a cheery you.
Yeah. Didn't really work for me either.
Now, I've already posted about some of the things I might've missed out on, not having a sister. And really, what can you do about birth order and sibling gender? You just gotta suck it up.
But readers: have I missed anything big? Anything glaring? Now's the time for those guys who keep *saying* they read the blog to step up & tell me everything I missed - or even better, what you males learned from your sisters! Time for the girls who loved (or tolerated) their brothers to let me know how they changed your life.
If you don't tell me I might get my brother to make up a song about you.