I have proclaimed my love for Mr Cusack before, but let me say this: he could probably read the directions on a box of Jell-O and I'd be captivated.
Lately another movie of his has been on my mind: High Fidelity. It was released in 2000 and - if you're not familiar - covers how "Rob, a record store owner and compulsive list maker, recounts his top five breakups, including the one in progress." (So says imdb.com, here. And, if you're really interested, it's based on a cracking Nick Hornby novel by the same name.)
He's going through a breakup, and decides it would be therapeutic to contact other women he's broken up with: "I want to see the others on the big top five. I wanna see Penny and Charlie and Sarah, all of them, you know. Just see 'em and talk to 'em, you know, like a Bruce Springsteen song."
Then The Boss himself enters the imaginary dialogue:
Boss: You call, you ask 'em how they are, and you see if they've forgiven you.
Rob: Yeah, and then I'd feel good. and they'd feel good.
Boss: No, they'd feel good maybe, but you'd feel better.
Rob: I'd feel clean and calm.
Boss: That's what you're looking for. You wanna get ready to start again, that'd be good for you.
Rob: Great, even.
Boss: You'd give that big final "good luck and goodbye" to your all-time top five and just move on down the road.
Rob: [whispers] Good luck, and goodbye...
What's been knocking around in my head is the idea, this compelling idea, that you can go back. What's more, the idea that you should go back: go and find the people from your past - the people with whom you've got unfinished business - just so you can understand. Go back and make things right.
And then Facebook went ahead and made this all a bit cliche. It's not a tantalizing pipe dream anymore: it's an everyday reality. You are now connected with your ex-boyfriend, his new wife, their teenager who's old enough to babysit - oh, and the teacher who listened to you wail about what a jerk he was.
There's no more trawling through the phone book, a la Rob:
She's in the fuckin' phone book. She should be living on Neptune! She's an extraterrestrial. A ghost, a myth, not a person in a phone book!This changes the terrain of The Deep Dark Past completely, when it comes to... processing. It's all out there, just taunting you to click on the 'Add as Friend' tab. Go ahead - ask your questions, offer your apologies, do what you need to do. You can get it off your chest in under 24 hours.
But are you brave enough - stupid enough - to do it? The guys in Hot Tub Time Machine would argue that you'll change the course of history.
**********
Tomorrow, Part II: How Clicking the "Add a Friend" Made me Feel Like a Prize Idiot (and led to my biggest Aha! moment EVER)
To be continued.....
8 comments:
So true! I am a curious girl. Looking forward to Part II. :)
Melissa
Love the Boss. Love John Cusack (still love him in Class when he folded the lit cigarette into - and out of - his mouth, and his line. "Next time you feel sad and blue, don't expect old Skippy here to put on his floppy shoes and big red nose. Adios, Mr. Morose." At least, I think it was him.
Anyway, an ex found me on there. I thought it odd that he searched me out and found me. Goes to show you never know who's thinking of you..
I'm done painting my cabinets for the night (yes, I'm still not finished with this God-forsaken project!), and needed to wind down before I crawl into bed...thought I'd read a little Kiersten. Just want to say...you ALWAYS make me laugh when I read your blog. You've got such a great way of writing. I can't wait until your first novel comes out (will you sign it for me?)! Anyway, can't wait for Part II. Hope all is well in your corner...
I'm sorry....I just realized I misspelled your name. I HATE it when people do that to me. Sorry about that!
Ex-boyfriends, fine. No problem. They were good boys all, and I wouldn't mind being contacted by any of them.
It's the OTHER random people from the past like some vague acquaintance at the college I only attended for a little over one year, or a student I taught back in 1999, with whom I just can't be bothered. This is why I don't Facebook. I welcome friends, but not 257 CYBER "Friends."
I know I'm virtually alone on this one. I recognize that I miss out on a lot of updates from people I genuinely do care about by not being on FB, and one day I guess I might cave in, but for now I still just can't face Facebook.
Oh...looking forward to what comes next!!!
I have mixed feelings about the going back in time thing. Part of me would LOVE to do it, revisit the mistakes and missteps of my foolish youth. But another part of me is just happy to let bygones be bygones.
And as for Facebook. I've had a mostly good experience, but one bad one nearly ruined it for me.
PS - Are you going to MomzShare next month?
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