Odds on

This list is from Amazon, with sources and all, odds that...

Your letter to The New York Times will be published 20 to 1
You'll get hemorrhoids 25 to 1
You'll hunt small game next year 54 to 1
You'll seek hypnotic therapy 79 to 1
You'll get Botox next year 102 to 1
Your tax return will be audited by the IRS 175 to 1
The person you're dating is a millionaire 215 to 1
Your book will be a New York Times bestseller 220 to 1
You go to a tractor pull or mud racing every month 311 to 1
You'll catch a baseball at a Major League Baseball game 563 to 1
You'll get botulism next year 2,300 to 1
You happen to be a private investigator 3,700 to 1
You'll pick a four-leaf clover on the first try 10,000 to 1
You'll die as a result of a major asteroid hitting Earth 20,000 to 1
You'll ever be a pro athlete 22,000 to 1
You'll ever date a supermodel (if you're a man) 88,000 to 1
Despite your efforts to avoid it, you'll actually get the plague next year 299,999 to 1
You'll be hit by lightning 576,000 to 1
You'll get bit by a shark 6,000,000 to 1
You'll win a Power Ball lottery with just one ticket 105,938,000 to 1