Sunday, May 15, 2011

She's EIGHT. But she can't go to school naked.

So I dithered on posting about this.

As she gets older, I want to respect her privacy - recognize that she won't want all her business out there for the blog world to read. (Already getting the wary "are you going to blog about this?" or the cheesy poses, as she yells "put this picture on Facebook!" Yikes.)

Anyway.

It's spring.  She grew.  Not like, 'oooh those pants are getting a tad short' grew - more like, 'honey are those shorts a little long or are the they pants I JUST BOUGHT YOU IN JANUARY?'

So she needs new clothes.  Ok, not 'needs' like she needs a new toothbrush, but hey - I'm a tall girl and a little sensitive about making tall kids wear too-short trousers.

So I spend two hours of MY FREE TIME, and I buy her new clothes.  Not cheap clothes, because I'm a little old fashioned in this way, and I hate when t-shirts fall apart in the washer after wearing them twice. But, we're not talking Gucci or Ralph Lauren stuff here either.

I give her the bag.  She makes the snottiest face.  She says "ugh.  I guess I'd wear that.  Maybe like... once a month."

People?  I had to walk out of the room.  I WAS THAT MAD.

Where do I go from here?  Seriously - looking for advice on this one.  Do I just let her pick out what she wants (glitter, sparkles, the Shar-Pei line) at Target?  Do I give a big speech about looking for well-made seams and lining in dresses?   How do I deliver the message that it is not ok to be snotty (and/or snobby?!?! about your clothes) at THE TENDER AGE OF EIGHT??

Coming up hard against the perplexities of raising girls these days, and coming up short of answers.

*******
This confused little rant is part of the Stream of Consciousness Sunday posts over at All Things Fadra.  Bunch of posts this week, on all sorts of stuff.  Check it out!



#SOCsunday

8 comments:

Lisa said...

First of all, it's Sharpay. I hate myself for knowing this, but I justify it by saying that it was the misspelling that caught my eye.

Second, I know I'm not a parent, but I do work with teenagers every day, and they tell me they spend more time with me than with their parents. (And I'm far more embarrassing--SCORE.) Compromise. Get her a glittery top to go with the well-made khakis. Say no to the pop culture/Disney/commercial stuff, but allow some day-glo pink in the wardrobe. The great thing about that cheap stuff is that you won't have to look at it forever, because it will fall apart.

My best friend's 4-year-old wears the ODDEST clothing, because she is allowed to dress herself. Her favorite color is black, though, and her mom has drawn the line at looking like a toddler goth. But looking at things with perspective, she says, they're just clothes.

Good luck!

Andie said...

That is a tough one. My daughter is just two but already wants to dress herself. ALL the time. And I was the same way.
So I think what I'm going to do is draw the line on revealing clothes but not worry about other things.
I think as she gets older quality will be more important to her.
But like I said I haven't gotten there yet.

Emily@remodelingthislife said...

My girl will be 7 too soon and I am reveling in this in between toddlerhood when she complained about everything (too tight, too itchy, too not pink) and when she's a little older and actually notices if she and other kids are wearing similar clothes. Right now, miraculously, she wears what I buy happily. No miniature rockstar stuff, thankyouverymuch. I hope this lasts, but even if it doesn't - I am with you - no snotty complaining. And without criticizing what some other kids wear, I would politely point out that classy always comes out ahead of trendy.

JDaniel4's Mom said...

MY three year old could care less what he wears. I hope it stays that way.

Kristen @ Motherese said...

Ugh. I wish I had some advice to offer. But all I have is a promise of future commiseration.

I've been following the outrage over the padded bikini tops for tweens at Abercrombie and Fitch and that, along with your post, has me reconsidering my glee over having a newborn girl to go along with my two boys. It seems the stakes are so much higher and more emotional when it comes to girls and what they wear.

Then again, whatever my daughter dishes out when she gets older is probably just karma for the headaches I caused my own mother 20 years ago!

Good luck. I'll be interested to see what solution you come up with.

hezro said...

Fortunately my girls are still enchanted when I bring home new clothes. They are so delighted to get something new. Of course Annika's still only six so I'm guessing she will be far more opinionated in two years...which is an incredibly frightening thought. But I've also let them run with it and if they want to dress themselves all crazy, I let them. I still optimistically put outfits together in their drawers and hope for the best but Annika is definitely starting to do her own thing. And I have even accompanied her at Target where she spent her own money to buy clothing that I would not be caught dead in. But she and I have so many other battles raging on a daily basis, this is one I've chosen not to engage in. But when the skirts stop having shorts underneath, well, that's going to be a different story.

Anonymous said...

Friend of Betsy's here, with a 12 year old daughter. Choose your battles, is my best advice. I choose modesty over my taste and thrift stores over high priced places. I let her be herself, which is much more artsy than I am. She isn't afraid to wear some bright and creative combinations! However, there is a tasteful way to tell Mom what you don't care for and that's always a lesson worth learning. Best of luck!
Beth

kirsten said...

Thank you all for your incredibly supportive (and helpful!) comments. I too am curious to see what solutions I come up with.

She was allowed a trip to Target with Grandma to pick things, and amazingly what she picked was so similar to my choices! But they were HER picks. Important distinction. :)

Again - thank you all.

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