Friday, December 10, 2010

Snow, and stillness

The Worries clamored like a pack of hungry preschoolers at snack time.  I stood in the shower this morning and let myself be assaulted by every single anxious thought my brain could manufacture in the space of ten minutes and the shampoo-soap-razor routine.

Forgot to... why didn't I... need to pay... have to remember... what IS it she thinks Santa is bringing?  this bill... that list... those emails.  On and on the siege raged.

Out of the shower, drying off, I noticed the very first snowflakes of winter swirling past the window.  I peered out into my backyard, and saw the faintest dusting on the kids' swings, on the Adirondack chairs, on the picnic table.

Funny, how often it is that nature will speak to us when rational thought eludes.  Stop, Kirsten. Enough. Enough. Be still.

Once dressed, I went outside to take photos, my kids fully occupied by sweeping off the front lawn. [Bizarre, I know. They're just goal oriented, I guess.] The heavy snow-filled air demanded silence of me, and I obliged.  I watched as the white flakes covered all that remained unfinished - the abandoned toys of summer, the leaves of fall - and I was still.  I silenced my anxieties, and chose peace.

Enough. There will always be more, always be not-quite-right. But for now, especially now, I will simply be still. I will find quietude for my head, for my home, for my family.  The stillness of the snow came early enough to teach me.


CaraBee said...

Beautiful. I need to find some of that quietude. Sadly, the few flakes we got up my way weren't enough to keep my daughter occupied long enough for me to even take a deep breath. Really, though, its up to us to create our sense of calm. Are you offering lessons?

Anonymous said...

Dear Blogophobe, you are slightly elusive & just a touch in the wrong century but now things are changing. It's Time. Drink up, pay up, write up, commission a Norwegian illustrator, magic up & post a pack of autographed, quickly stitched together profundities childrens book of the (soon to arrive) year to countries speaking English, French, Norwegian & Spanish. Regards, V.W.

Varda said...

Just wanted to come by to say hello. I've meant to comment on this post since I read it, days ago, but have been having a rather jam packed December.

Also? Just so you know? Inspired by the "Blog Gems - air your archives" linky going on over at my friend Jen's blog where today she asked everyone to link to their first ever post, I have been rousting about in your attic.

2005, baby! Wow, you've been blogging a long time. And now I've read all of that July. So much fun to get to "know" you from the beginning.

I know it's been a busy fall for you and understated why you may have been blogging less, but wanted you to know I miss you and your lovely, lyrical, honest, moving writing.

You have the soul of a poet and I always look forward to new posts from you. I love your writers voice.

Hugs and happy holiday wishes from your friend in NYC.

Duane Scott said...

I just loved these photos. Especially the last one. :)

Sandy @ RE said...

Really beautiful. Love your blog and happy to find you!

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